Blackboard Love

I have been admiring the beautiful blackboard displays on blogs, websites and books for quite some time now. A little while ago I stumbled across this flickr group which is filled with gorgeous boards, depicting seasons, stories, festivals and more.

I had assumed that this was a classroom thing, really, and that we don't have a suitable place in the house for a blackboard, I'd put the idea out of my head for making it a reality at home.

Then I saw some little blackboards in the supermarket Christmas aisle a few weeks ago. They had an artful floral picture on one section and a blackboard area on the other part. They were super cheap so I took one home to see what I could do with it.

We did some more wet on wet painting and stuck one of them on the board to cover the floral picture and to put our own stamp on it.

And then, inspired by this I had a go at a little scene inspired by our, then, up and coming Gnome's Bonfire party (that never ended up happening because of the rain :o().

So it seems I have managed to incorporate a bit of blackboard love into our little house after all. I'm quite pleased with it and Cameron said he is in awe of my chalk skills!

*Sob*

Everything seems to be happening so fast this year. We light the first candle of advent tomorrow - my beloved Autumn is fading too soon.

Peanut Butter Fudge

It's only four days to the start of advent - can you believe it?

I have made chocolate chip peanut butter fudge for Cameron's fabric advent calendar this year. Peanut butter fudge is on my list of 101 things to do so it was a good opportunity to get another list item ticked off.

I used this recipe, taking into account the tips in the recipe review section, and pressed some dark chocolate chips into the mixture before it cooled. It was really easy to make and it made the kitchen smell heavenly!

Last year we made (Captain Underpants super power) chocolate orange fudge which was a big hit with Cameron.

I know a few of you have fabric pocket advent calendars too - what are you putting in yours this year?

Celebrating Thanksgiving in our own way

We take the opportunity to celebrate thanksgiving around the same time as Americans, although we do it for our own personal reasons. We find it a really useful exercise to take stock and think about how lucky we are and what we value, before the festive season takes hold with it's gluttony and abundance.
We've been doing this, in different ways, for about three years now and it makes a big difference, leading us into the run up to Christmas feeling thankful and with love and gratitude in our hearts - that may seem a bit sappy but it works for us!

Last year we made a branch tree and decorated it with harvest decorations and cardboard leaves with our "thankful messages" on them. This year we made a big, flat paper tree and added our leaves throughout the week.

We enjoy reading each other's thankful messages and I am always surprised to find them so revealing about what has made a difference in the preceding months, for example - last year I remember being particularly moved to read one of Cameron's leaves, where he wrote about how thankful he was that he had gotten his aspergers diagnosis and wasn't "going crazy". It's been such a tough year for us, in so many ways, and our thankful messages reflected how far we have come and also how much healing there is still left to do.

We usually mark the occasion with a special dinner but this year Cameron asked if he could make a roast dinner bento box!

He included roast chicken, stuffing, jyagatama (potato and vegetable cakes) and cranberry jelly. The picture doesn't really do it justice - it was a big hit!

Bento Mania

I bought my little brother The Manga Cookbook back in June for his birthday and Cameron had been hinting, lately, that he fancied the book for himself so we bought another copy last week.

I'm having to get over a mental hurdle to really get into bento making. I have a bit of an aversion to foods that have been fiddled around with a lot - one of the many reasons why I tend to cook from scratch. But I'm seeing it as a lesson in letting go and remembering the value in the process as well as the final outcome.

Since then, bento mania has hit our household and Cameron has been doing most of the cooking!

We have learned to perfect sticky steamed rice and have had a lot of fun playing around with ideas from the book.

Cameron particularly likes the shaped and cute things.

In this pic - onigiri with nori stars, on top of chicken and vegetables

Apple teddies and marshmallow treats

Hot dog octopuses/octopi/octopodes on a sea bed of rice

Not sure if you'll be able to make these out from the picture - they are a chick (on the left) and a rabbit (on the right) made from hard boiled eggs.

For bento box inspiration you can't do much better than this flickr group. But be warned - you'll never look at your lunch in the same way again!

Simple Pleasures

Beautiful light in the kitchen this morning. I happened to glimpse this shadow and reflection and it made me smile :o)

List of things to do - taking a blog break

I am falling way behind on getting everything done that I need to get done. The fatigue, mixed with the change of pace that seems to be happening, has left me in a bit of a spin and I feel the need to find some focus and direction.

I've set myself a list of things I want to get done in the near future, it looks a bit like this (in no particular order):

• Arrange, & clean for,annual gas inspection & get problems with stove and fire sorted out
• Arrange for redelivery of half my Christmas shopping that is sat at the sorting office
• Attend HE group & commit to task/contribution for Winter party.
• Take some time to mull over information from the asperger "parent training" course
• Sort out and hang new blackboard for kitchen
• Attend follow up GP appointment
• Find time to exercise every day
• Be more regimented with yoga practice (has been slipping recently)
• Rearrange lymphatic drainage massage appointments to suit childcare changes
• Buy new slow cooker (my old one has cracked :o( )
• Attend Medical Herbalist appointment
• Finish online Christmas shopping (waiting for C to finalise Pokemon choices)
• Get quotes for special Christmas present
• Research and introduce a vegan meal (at least once this week)
• Feed Christmas cake
• Clean out fish
• Find out Cameron's expectations re. "thanksgiving" meal
• Buy nice glass bottles for homemade Apple & Blackberry Vodka presents and
• sort tags for them
• Make sure I have ingredients for advent calendar treats
• Sew some Christmas decorations
• Get on top of the housework
• Get on top of laundry backlog
• Clear email inbox

I'm sure there's plenty more than that to do, but I'm setting myself the goal of getting those items done before I come back to blog 5+ days a week again. I love to blog and interact with people but in the last few days it's become my excuse not to do what I need to get done - this is not productive! I may pop by with the odd picture or quote from my day, but for the most part I'll be absent while I get a grip on things.

I hope you understand, my lovelies - have a great week!

Leeds German Christmas Market

We popped over to Leeds yesterday morning for the German Christmas Market in Millennium Square. We chose a Monday morning so that it would be nice and quiet - and it was!

The market was much smaller than I'd anticipated but there were so many beautiful things, it was difficult to know where to start.




Cameron was particularly taken with a roasted & flavoured nut stall which had some amazing flavours. The men at this stall were really sweet and let him try several types before choosing which to buy.

The pretzels being freshly baked smelled amazing

We spent far too much money - I'd written a list of things I was hoping to find, before we went, and found nearly all of them!

Some of our purchases: A handmade wooden pyramid (that spins with the heat from the candles), a large box of little red candles to fit the pyramid, a wooden Santa, some tiny little gingerbread man candles, some beautiful rainbow candles and some handmade wooden decorations.

We are really looking forward to seeing what the St. Nicholas Festival at York is going to be like next week. Cameron said he's starting to feel his Christmas "spirit" already!

Toffee Apple Tart

I had planned to make Toffee Apple Tart for Bonfire night this year, but as it turned out we were still eating the Hansel & Gretel House and so I delayed it until this weekend. It was worth the wait!
I devised the recipe myself, taking inspiration from methods in other recipes.

Toffee Apple Tart

1 packet puff pastry (puff is the only pastry I buy, rather than make from scratch)
2-3 apples
half cup unsalted butter
2 cups soft brown sugar
2 rounded tablespoons golden syrup
1 can evaporated milk (about 400g)
A few drops of vanilla extract
Egg white for brushing the pastry


Make the sauce first :Melt the butter, sugar and syrup in a pan. Add the evaporated milk and stir well. Keep on a low heat, stirring continuously for about 10 minutes. The sauce thickens on cooling - if you're nervous about it not thickening you can put a teaspoonful on a cold plate and see if it thickens to the consistency you want. Return to the heat and continue stirring if you would like it a bit more gooey!
Stir in the vanilla, take the pan off the heat and leave to cool.
Meanwhile, roll out your pastry on a floured surface to fit your dish with an overlap.
Core and slice your apples fairly thinly - I used a mandolin slicer (new kitchen gadget alert!) to get the slices the same thickness but a knife is fine too.
When the toffee sauce has cooled, add about two thirds to the pastry base and spread evenly.
Arrange your apple slices on top of the toffee sauce. Glaze the apples with a thin layer of leftover toffee sauce.
Fold the overlap of pastry around the edge of the dish to make a crust and brush with egg white.
Bake at 180 C until the pastry is golden.
Can be eaten hot or cold and is especially good with custard!

Cameron's review: "I like it 750%".

I think that means it was a hit!

Paper Star Birthday Card

It seems I've really caught the paper star bug! It's my little sister's birthday this week so I made her a card using a simple but teeny tiny paper star. I hope she likes it.

Is everyone excited about the new Doctor Who episode tomorrow? Between that and Pokemon Saturday (yes, all day today!) Cameron is having a very screen happy weekend!

Test results & a frost inspired window star

I've shuffled my way up to the next difficulty level with these stars and am loving this one! Although, not so much loving the mucky window behind it! After taking this picture (that I had to crop) I've shamed myself into cleaning the windows!

Lots of people have been clicking on the tutorial links - do leave me a comment linking to your posts if you blog about your own stars, I'd love to see them.

-

I got my test results back from the doctor this morning and everything was clear - which is great news! Except that now I'm lacking an explanation for the exhaustion and other symptoms that have been recurring for over a year now. I've booked in for some alternative therapies over the next few weeks which will hopefully help and I'm pondering over some other changes to boost my energy levels too.
Thank you, once again, for all the support and lovely messages & comments. They have helped more than words can say x

Martinmas Lanterns

We made lanterns yesterday, for Martinmas, using one of the methods I'd read about in All Year Round where you do a wax crayon drawing and then oil the reverse to make the picture translucent.

Cameron did a Pokemon lantern, of course. I did autumnal colours. They were pretty but very difficult to photograph!

I have since read on Lynn's blog, Raising Little Shoots, that you can use this method with watercolour paintings - I'm definitely going to give that a try. She wrote a lovely post on preparing for Martinmas that is well worth a look.

Feeling like the elephant in the room

I apologise in advance for this post because it is a bit of an unorganised, outraged ramble. But if you can't ramble on your blog - where can you?! Feel free to skip over it and come back tomorrow and (hopefully) see our Martinmas lanterns!

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This morning I attended the first of six sessions on what they call "parent training" for parents of children diagnosed with aspergers, over the age of seven.

Today's session was ice-breakers and an overview of the course, which was pretty much what you'd expect from the local authority. There was a lot about "behaviours" being what autism is, which I don't really agree with, but most of the content looked OK. There was also a strong emphasis on how it has been proven that vaccines (among other things) do not affect autism, not a surprising view from someone employed by the NHS.
They talked about how the cause of autism wasn't known yet and that perhaps reducing it will turn out to be just something simple like the way spina bifida has been reduced by taking folic acid! At that point I was just about ready to speak up - they were talking about autism as a defect to be eradicated. Thankfully, one of the course speakers piped up at that point and said she didn't agree.

When we did group introductions I spoke about how Cameron's diagnosis had lead to my own - and from that point on, I felt like there were a lot of moments in the course when the people delivering it paused, looked at me, and rephrased what they wanted to say in their head so as not to offend me. If I hadn't revealed that I have been diagnosed with aspergers, I'm very sure that there would have been a lot of insensitive things said in a sort of sarcastic way as they rolled their eyes. I worry about what message this is giving to parents - if what professionals usually say would be offensive to me as a person with aspergers, then surely it is negative and shouldn't ever be said in that situation? And in turn, shouldn't be used by parents whose children may overhear them.

When they touched on parent's feelings at the point of diagnosis, the PowerPoint presentation had a list of emotions such as

• grief
• disappointment
• frustration
• guilt
• upset

and at that point, one of the parents burst into tears while another talked about how she grieved for the life her child will never have - never leave home, no marriage or babies, no career, no friends etc. To say I was perplexed would be an understatement! I hope, for the sake of their children, that their attitudes don't turn into self-fulfilling prophecies.

We were played a video to cheer us up in a kind of - it's not all bad news, way. It was about genius adults and children throughout history who were said to have had aspergers. But - what about those children who don't have a "genius" interest? What if they're into Pokemon, WWF wrestling or the history of Coronation Street? Are parents to grieve all over again? The parent in the group (who was crying) was - her son was obsessed with the goings on of the local chip shop and somehow that made him a disappointment in his parent's eyes.

I guess I'm picking out all the bad things to write about. I related to just as many things as I was outraged by and I plan to attend the rest of the sessions.

I'm not saying that bringing up a child with autism isn't challenging - clearly it is. And the diagnostic process is shockingly difficult and emotional. But when did "different" turn into a "failure"?
I got the impression from one family today that if there had been a test during pregnancy to diagnose autism then they wouldn't have continued with the pregnancy!

When did we (as a society) become so elitist?

Five Pointed Emerald Window Star

I had a go at another five pointed window star today. I've worked out a better way to align the trickier (for me) star points when there are an odd number, which has helped a lot.

I'm really happy with this one. Cameron named it "The Emerald Star".

Edited to add: I've found some online tutorials for people who want to start making their own - check out my Linky Love section in the sidebar :o)

Frost and Sunshine

There was not a cloud in the sky this morning, it was gloriously Autumnal - frosty in the shade and sunshiny everywhere else. Perfect for a, crunchy, leaf kicking trip to the park.

I hope you found some sunshine in your day too.

A huge thank you & the great big Christmas magazine rip off antidote

I must start today's post with a huge thank you to everyone who responded to yesterday's post. I was overwhelmed, particularly with the amount of emails I received last night with personal stories and lovely words of support and encouragement. I no longer feel like the only parent in the world worrying, with no plan set in stone yet. And while I don't feel much nearer to knowing what I want to write in my will yet, I feel much better about it and have a lot of things to think about now - so thank you SO much. It really meant a lot to me x

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Today I've been distracting myself with some Christmas planning.

We have a pretty good idea about what we like and what we want to try this year, as well as a folder full of things I've torn out of magazines or printed off the internet, to try at a later date, from previous years, but I do like to browse a few Christmas issues of magazines. I have pretty traditional tastes but I like to keep an eye on what the trends are for each particular year and maybe pick up some ideas.

Aside from my Martha Stewart Living subscription that I receive as a Christmas present (and am giving up due to the ridiculous proportion of advertising it contains now), I stopped buying magazines about two years ago. I often find the mainstream ones to be a worse influence than the TV (which I have also, just about, given up) - a page on how we should be confident with our body image, followed by a feature on how to "lose a stone in two weeks", the new fat laden celebrity chef recipe that takes 4 hours to prepare, finished off with an article on a mother that can "do it all", dress sexily, keep a picture perfect house, run a business empire, chair the PTA, do PIYO 5 times a week and be home in time to cook a gourmet tea from scratch and help the children with their homework. The mixed messages left me feeling inadequate, in almost every area of my life, and I don't feel I need to pay upwards of £3.50 for that privilege. I found the unrealistic expectations distracted from the way of life that works for us, and so I just stopped looking.

But Christmas always makes me want to look. I want to see specially picked Christmas gift items displayed prettily on the page, I like to be inspired by the decorations featured in the show house-type settings with a roaring fireplace. I like to see the sparkly things, the "in trends" that everyone will be talking about, golden roasted turkeys and beautifully decorated foodie treats.

However, you know what I noticed this year? They're almost the same every year! Of course the shop merchandise featured changes a bit, but the trends are mostly recycled. Today I saw a feature in a new 2009 magazine that used the exact same photographs as a 2006 magazine, that I'd ripped out and put in my inspiration folder. What a rip off!

My advice, if you're looking for festive inspiration, is to look no further than here - the wonderful world of blogs! Real inspiration written by real people who have actually tried and tested what they write about. What's more they're doing it on a realistic budget and their ideas from Christmases past are right there in the archives too.

I'll start you off with a few goodies:

Soulemama's Advent Stocking Garland, feeding the birds In Celebration, and Wintry Wonderland.

Alicia Paulson's Felt Holiday Patterns.

Maya Made Newspaper Snowflake Garland Tutorial, and Simple Gifts.

Tara Frey invites you to "come stay at our Christmas Village"

The Christmas category on The Crafty Crow blog is brimming with ideas submitted by bloggers.

Sarah's 2009 Holiday Handmade Crusade on flickr.

Last year I posted a (badly photographed) 12 days of Christmas Treats, starting here with day 1.

I'm sure you have blog favourites of your own - get searching their archives and find out how they celebrate the festive season. My theory is that you're more likely to find ideas relevant for you if it's a blog that you like and read regularly than in a magazine that is more about advertising to the masses. Save your cash and get even better ideas for free!

Bit depressing today, sorry.

I'm awaiting some medical test results this week. The chances are that there is nothing very seriously wrong, but I can't help my overactive, paranoid, aspie worrisome mind - trying to plan each and every possible eventuality.
All of this has brought me back to a quandary that I have been pondering for a long time - what arrangements to make for Cameron's care, should I die whilst he is still a child.

As a lone parent this is a (more so) huge issue because I don't have don't have the comfort of a loving and trusted partner with similar attitudes and philosophies to mine to leave my child with. There isn't really anyone, other than me, that Cameron feels particularly close to, no one that really gets him.

Then there's the other issue of education. While (most of) my family support me in home educating Cameron, I don't see any one of them wanting to take on the responsibility for it if I were no longer around, even with a life insurance payout, although I've never discussed this with any of them, I have just assumed thus far.

It's no secret that I had a difficult childhood and that I was disappointed with my parents contributions to my upbringing. After an intensive year of therapy for me and a lot of time and experience, on all of our parts, I feel like I probably have a better relationship with my parents now than ever. But we often disagree on many issues and they're still quite unaware of the level of support Cameron can require, just in daily life that he's comfortable with, never mind in extreme circumstances.

I have tried to write a living will on many occasions and been stumped by this issue. I simply cannot see a solution that would be in Cameron's best interests. I have a lot of ideas about what I DON'T want to happen, but very few about what could be a practical, workable arrangement.

I'd like to throw this out to you today, I'd really like to hear from you - what are your plans or thoughts on this subject?

Edited to add - if you want to reply but feel uncomfortable putting it in the comments section, my email address can be found in my FAQ - just click on my picture at the top left of the page.

Wet on Wet Painting

This afternoon Cameron and I had our first try at wet on wet painting.

I've been wanting to do this for ages but kept holding myself back with not having the perfect paper, paints, boards, brushes etc. Then I read a short passage about it in One-to-One and there were some good practical pointers about it that made me realise that perhaps I was being a bit too perfectionist about it!

So we used lining paper and some water colour paints that we had in the crafts cupboard. We do have some better quality ones but they are such tiny blocks of paint and I thought that would make it more fiddly for Cameron. Now that we know we like it, and want to try again, I think I might invest in some watercolour paints designed for this specific purpose.

We chose bonfire colours, as tonight is bonfire night, and then we just let the activity direct us really.

Cameron particularly enjoyed watching the colours spread and bleed into each other.

If the rain ever stops, we shall be bundled up and enjoying sparklers and bonfire toffee in the garden this evening!

Red Cabbage Water Acid Indicator Tests

We made some acid indicator water using red cabbage yesterday.

We chose a some items from around the house to test.

We've started a book called The Genius Jotter to record our findings from scientific experiments. Cameron drew a Pokemon on the page - I love that he has the freedom to do that kind of thing at home.

There is some leftover cabbage water that we're keeping in the fridge for whenever Cameron fancies testing more things.

We had a lot of fun with this one.

A perfect day for bread baking

The weather outside was WILD this morning! Lashing down with rain and howling winds - very dramatic. A perfect day to stay home and bake, as if we ever need an excuse!

Bread seemed like the right thing to bake today. We used to bake all our bread from scratch but got out of the habit after I injured my wrist on the allotment in the Summertime. I recently revisited Baking Bread with Children and remembered how much fun and education there is to be found in this pleasurable activity.

It was a lovely familiar feeling kneading the soft, warm dough for the first time in a long time.






As I placed it into a bowl for the first rising, the sun came out - as if by magic, just for me - and I left it, covered in a clean tea towel, to soak up the goodness and warmth.

There's something very soulful about baking bread, it makes me wish I were a better writer so that I could describe the effect of the process on me.




Two loaves, cooling on the rack - if I achieve nothing else today, I would be happy with this.

One more thing...

... from Halloween that I forgot to share yesterday.

When I got up in the morning, Cameron had been up for a while before me and had been making a little hunt-the-picture game.

I had a tick sheet and had to check off all the ghost type Pokemon that I found posted around the house.

There was a word search for me to do too, with the names of the Pokemon I had found.

Isn't that cool? What a lucky Mummy I am!

Halloween Roundup

We had a great time this weekend, celebrating Halloween.

We carved Pokemon faces into the little pumpkins that we grew at the allotment!


Cameron chose to dress up as Harry Potter. He wore a cloak I made for him a few years back, a Griffindor scarf, knitted by my Great Grandmother for my Dad many, many years decades ago (actually, it was originally a long Doctor Who style scarf in Bradford City (his team) colours but was later made into two more sensible sized scarves - bit of pointless scarf trivia for you!), some glasses that came on the front of the Beano a few weeks ago that we adapted (we took the "nerd" lenses out!) and I painted him a very HP scar on his forehead with liquid eyeliner.

We went to a Halloween concert by a local Orchestral Society which was FANTASTIC! The hall was decorated, the entire orchestra were in costume, and most of the audience were dressed up too.

They gave out chopsticks as we arrived so that the kids could conduct the music. They played music such as the Harry Potter theme, and Peter and the Wolf, among others.

They had competitions and prizes and welcomed talking, and moving around in the hall as it was an event specifically for children. There were chances to try out the musical instruments, dancers on the stage for some of the pieces, it was great.


There was a cello piece that had been written by a local teenager and he came up on the stage to conduct the orchestra through it.

I hadn't heard a live orchestra in a really long time, it was a treat. The event had the potential to go badly for us, a lot of loud noise and being virtually trapped in a busy hall but we did really well and stayed relaxed. Cameron said he liked the way the music vibrated in his tummy!

We came home for a tea of colcannon cakes (similar to this recipe but with added garlic and carrots, and with melted cheese on top).

Every Halloween I buy Cameron a new book (he's come to prefer this rather than plastic tat from the supermarket Halloween aisle). I bought him the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid book which he adored and read the entire thing whilst gobbling up half the roof of the Hansel & Gretel house!