All of this has brought me back to a quandary that I have been pondering for a long time - what arrangements to make for Cameron's care, should I die whilst he is still a child.
As a lone parent this is a (more so) huge issue because I don't have don't have the comfort of a loving and trusted partner with similar attitudes and philosophies to mine to leave my child with. There isn't really anyone, other than me, that Cameron feels particularly close to, no one that really gets him.
Then there's the other issue of education. While (most of) my family support me in home educating Cameron, I don't see any one of them wanting to take on the responsibility for it if I were no longer around, even with a life insurance payout, although I've never discussed this with any of them, I have just assumed thus far.
It's no secret that I had a difficult childhood and that I was disappointed with my parents contributions to my upbringing. After an intensive year of therapy for me and a lot of time and experience, on all of our parts, I feel like I probably have a better relationship with my parents now than ever. But we often disagree on many issues and they're still quite unaware of the level of support Cameron can require, just in daily life that he's comfortable with, never mind in extreme circumstances.
I have tried to write a living will on many occasions and been stumped by this issue. I simply cannot see a solution that would be in Cameron's best interests. I have a lot of ideas about what I DON'T want to happen, but very few about what could be a practical, workable arrangement.
I'd like to throw this out to you today, I'd really like to hear from you - what are your plans or thoughts on this subject?
Edited to add - if you want to reply but feel uncomfortable putting it in the comments section, my email address can be found in my FAQ - just click on my picture at the top left of the page.
I really hope the test results come back fine hannah, Il drop you an email a little later
ReplyDeleteBecky x
Thanks Becky, I really appreciate it x
ReplyDeleteHope all is well! You probably aren't worrying over the results anymore than the rest of us do. We all play worse-case-scenario everytime something is wrong!
ReplyDeleteChildcare after death is a truly hard one! I won't go out with just Michael-I'm terrified we'll leave the kids parentless! We really don't have anyone we'd leave them with. I can't stand his family-and the kids don't know my family. The only person I'd leave them with is my mom--but she's not getting any younger!
You don't have to ask family--do you have a close friend that you would trust with Cameron?
Another possibility: co-guardianship? Maybe he can live with one person-but on the understanding that he visits the other person as well, and if things aren't working out, that person can step in? Do you have a life insurance plan? If so--make sure it has two people to be co-executors, that way the money is safe for whatever C needs in the future.
Please don't feel like you are the only one in this bost--we all face very similar dilemas, married or not!
Hi Hannah,
ReplyDeleteI hope your results are all fine.
I can really understand your feelings. When my two were younger I gave this problem a lot of thought too, and ended up hoping that I'd be around long enough to support my children.
I'd just like to suggest that you might consider asking some of your closest home educating parent friends. That might relieve your mind about the future.
God bless.
Diane
(another home edder)
This troubled me a lot too, we never resolved it and eventually the oldest became old enough to take on the job if it ever became necessary.
ReplyDeleteNo one can replace you but Elizabeth at least has some ideas which I never did.
Hope your blood tests are negative or lead to action that can resolve your problem.
yep worried about this too, in my darkest hours (DH just diagnosed with C, me pregnant) a good HEing friend said she would take them all on if the worst happened.
ReplyDeleteOhhh...was just doing a quick blog read while I'm meant to be doing something else, but can't possibly leave this without any comment...not that I can offer any advice really, only understanding and support - as a single parent I know exactly where your coming from. Hope the results turn out to be nothing to worry about will try and email you later when i have a bit more time Mandy xxx
ReplyDeleteAm sure the tests will be fine. With regards Cameron it is a difficult one, I am also a single parent but do have family who would step in plus Matt is now 18. I would, as someone else has done, suggest another hE family who you are close to.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for replying everyone x
ReplyDeleteHope the blood test results come back ok.
ReplyDelete(((Hugs)))
I think I need to give more thought to what would happen if anything happened to me and dh and discuss it with him and my family. Its not an easy discussion to have but one that we really should have.
Emma xxx
hiya sweetie, only just seen your post. How's it going now? if you've had your results I hope it's good news *hugs
ReplyDeleteas to what to do in the event of the unthinkable I'm terrible at doing anything about it, used to have an endowment mortgage to make sure they'dhave the house , but now haven't even got that, it's on my 'todo' list but I'm like an ostrich burying my head in the sand . . . . that's not a lot of help is it - but sending loads of empathy xx
Have just done a catch up on blog posts and saw yours. Big hugs Hannah, I do hope the results are fine.
ReplyDelete