Taking the leap - looking back

Recently, whilst sorting through our bits and pieces of things we've saved from our home education journey, I found a diary I kept during the first month or so after deregistering Cameron from school. Cameron had returned to school after the Christmas period (because I had wimped out of my plan to deregister him), just a few weeks later he came out at crisis point and I wanted to keep a diary of everything (I thought would be deemed) educational so that that when the local authorities made enquiries I'd be prepared.
You can almost feel the desperation and fear in my writing as I recorded every conversation and activity, and even analysing Cameron's choices for what to do in his "free" time - talk about sucking the fun out of everything!

Rediscovering this diary has got me thinking about how much more scary it must be to take that leap of faith and deregister your child(ren) in the current circumstances where there is often more bad press than good and home education has been (wrongly) linked to high profile abuse cases. I wonder if I'd have been brave enough had all of this been going on back then and if I'd have managed to convince my family it was a good decision and gain their support.

I get a lot of emails through this blog from people who are thinking about home educating and I do my best to tell them about our experiences. When I was dithering over the decision myself I phoned a few people local to me from a home educators contact list. I remember asking them questions like "what does a typical day look like for you?" and being utterly frustrated to hear answers such as "well... there is no such thing as a typical day". If only I'd discovered home ed blog rings back then perhaps I'd have had more of an idea of how others approach it.
I thought I'd share a few exerts from the diary.

29th January 2007 (day after deregistration)
Cameron woke naturally instead of being forced out of bed!!
45 mins continuing patterns and number sequences from a worksheet and then improvised both symmetrical and repeating patterns using Doctor Who characters (instead of drawing round wooden shapes like they do at school) - had to explain these even though the school had covered it. Planned a picnic together, discussing nutrition. Cameron initiated a compromise independently. Train - journey observations. Visit and discussions included a church, canal, birds, bridge, waterfall, park, tram railway, exercise, squirrels, stream, glen, picnic (where a dog tried to steal Cameron's sandwich), countryside centre, cafe for drink, play park, road safety, famous statue, spring flowers, mill, orientation, reading train timetable, return journey - interaction with conductor, supermarket visit.
Drew map of day and events, coloured and labelled it. 45 minutes improvisation to music using percussion instruments.
1 hour free play - chose to draw from imagination.
Discussion of food groups during tea prep. Completed today's diary for "learn the time" work book. Short visit from old school friend (peer socialisation). 1 hour TV time. 30 mins play in bath using a variety of containers (volume estimation discussion).
2 chapters of charlie and the chocolate factory.
Main observation of the day was that Cam was eager - no lethargy, lots of curiosity.

I carried on nervously micromanaging and recording every little detail for about a week, although we did a lot of fun experiments and things too. This is my diary entry for an activity Cameron still remembers and talks about fondly...

Wednesday 31st January 2007
...Bread making experiment! We made a bread dough recipe and then flavoured the dough portions using - pesto, tomato & garlic puree, chocolate, marmite. Cameron really got into the activity. He requires a lot of reassurance at the moment - clearly feels under pressure to get things right after criticisms at school.
Lunch - bread taste test.
Write up of bread making including pictures and marks out of ten. Cameron asked if he could make a cook book with all the recipes he makes!!...

Then, just over a week from leaving school - words that still bring a tear to my eye when I read them:

Wednesday 7th February 2007
... Saw Cameron relax today, for first time in ages. He was walking along and SINGING, JIGGING & MAKING UP OWN SONGS!!!

It seemed that Cameron singing and dancing in a naturally joyful way was the sign I was looking for to take a deep breath and relax myself as this is the entire diary entry for the next day:

Thursday 8th February 2007
SNOW!!!! (makes concentration hard!).

I'm not really sure what my point is with sharing this today. I guess I want to show that (probably) everyone is afraid and antsy and finds it hard to deschool. I think the little parts of the diary that I've shared show how much easier it got for me in little more than a week. Making the decision and fighting the doubters was one of the most stressful things I've ever done, but it didn't last forever.
Of course there were many more "breakthroughs" for Cameron and I put that down to me being more relaxed and giving him the freedom to find his own path and be his own person - something that wouldn't have happened had I had to coerce him with a 12 month plan and ever looming visits. I don't really post about the political stuff, I'm not very good at it.
I believe that the decision to home educate is never taken lightly, but I truly hope that children continue to have the right to that freedom and that this ridiculous review and recommendations are not putting people off.
As September is on the horizon and I know that many parents will be dithering over their own choices about educational provision, I just wanted to say that choosing to home educate was the best decision we (ultimately, I) ever made. I got back my child and my child got back his childhood.